I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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