Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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