my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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