who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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