Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Randomize
