so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
