I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.