Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

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(812): View more from Indiana

They have edible shot glasses at target.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

There really is a God.

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(313): View more from Michigan

So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...

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(614): View more from Ohio

you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?

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