So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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