Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.

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(770): I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter. http://tfl.nu/9rwz

Replies (20) Good night (3540) Bad night (613)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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(781): i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too http://tfl.nu/262s

Replies (17) Good night (3276) Bad night (551)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

i should start naming my morning wood

(201): View more from New Jersey

great idea but wrong number

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(910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number http://tfl.nu/1p5a

Replies (24) Good night (8208) Bad night (1047)
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(410): View more from Maryland

a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

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(410): a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out http://tfl.nu/89tu

Replies (40) Good night (1590) Bad night (7234)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

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(609): It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds. http://tfl.nu/3v3q

Replies (48) Good night (633) Bad night (8091)
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(425): View more from Washington

couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school

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(425): couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school http://tfl.nu/94oh

Replies (36) Good night (6565) Bad night (1487)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

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(617): I wish his dick was as long as his hair. http://tfl.nu/x3k7

Replies (13) Good night (1027) Bad night (6746)
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(443): View more from Maryland

theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.

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(443): theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down. http://tfl.nu/4061

Replies (5) Good night (2705) Bad night (927)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.

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(541): I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out. http://tfl.nu/wy42

Replies (11) Good night (683) Bad night (1072)
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(540): View more from Virginia

For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

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(540): For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners. http://tfl.nu/0hks

Replies (4) Good night (1636) Bad night (565)
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(515): View more from Iowa

P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready

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(515): P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready http://tfl.nu/rgh6

Replies (15) Good night (1689) Bad night (1256)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.

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(402): Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal. http://tfl.nu/0e3u

Replies (9) Good night (1261) Bad night (604)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing

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(856): I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing http://tfl.nu/iy02

Replies (10) Good night (1152) Bad night (913)
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(212): View more from New York

I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?

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(212): I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin? http://tfl.nu/wy13

Replies (5) Good night (1295) Bad night (1043)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?

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(630): I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/45h3

Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (604)

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