I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
