You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
