My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
