Are we in a gay sports bar?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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