is your mom at the bar?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm passing your future prison.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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