I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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