Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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