Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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