i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
