I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
