I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
