i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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