my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
