Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
