3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
false alarm, still single
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
