perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
