why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
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If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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