I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
