So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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