absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm getting married
To pizza
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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