A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
