Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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