My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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