that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
