Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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