I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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