He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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