She is in my trunk
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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