this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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