So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
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if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
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And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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