smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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