ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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