wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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