Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
