in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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