I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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