More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sarcasm needs its own font
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
