I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
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Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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