i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i believe in u and ur pee
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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