he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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