I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize