You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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