honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
