i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have surprise drugs for everyone
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
