a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize