Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
