i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
